Why Revenge Isn’t Empowerment: A Reflection on OnlyFans and the Cost of ‘Getting Even

A real message from a woman (in white) in a public groupchat

There’s a line I read recently that’s stuck with me -

I said, ‘I worry about the men who are customers of OF... like I dunno if it’s healthy.’

And she replied, ‘Meh - men have exploited women for years. Now it’s our turn to exploit them.’

At first glance, you could mistake her words for empowerment - maybe even poetic justice.

After all, it’s no secret that for much of history, women have been objectified, mistreated, and denied a voice. Movements like feminism and #MeToo have done tremendous work in helping women reclaim agency and dignity. The cultural tide has turned - and that’s a beautiful thing.

But when healing turns into payback - when empowerment becomes revenge - we’re no longer building a better world. We’re just flipping the power dynamic while keeping the same broken system.

Exploitation Doesn’t Heal Exploitation

When we start celebrating one group exploiting another - as long as it’s the "right" group doing the exploiting - we’ve lost the moral high ground. Saying “it’s our turn to exploit men now” might feel cathartic to someone who's been hurt, overlooked, or made to feel small. But that mindset poisons the well for everyone, including the people who say it. Revenge doesn’t create equality. It just shifts the imbalance.

And if the roles were reversed - if a man said “women have taken advantage of men emotionally for years, now it’s our turn to use them” - there would rightly be outrage. So why is the same logic acceptable just because it’s going in the other direction?

The Mental Health Crisis No One’s Talking About

Behind that ‘OF customer’ is often a lonely man - someone struggling with addiction, escapism, shame, or even depression. Many aren’t just watching adult content because they’re ‘horny’ - they’re watching because they’re disconnected. Because they don’t know how to form real relationships. Because they’ve learned to hide behind screens instead of facing pain. Because they feel powerless.

If we call that vulnerable man an exploitable fool who deserves it because of history - what future are we building?

We're not just tolerating suffering - we’re laughing at it.

Feminism Was Never About Revenge

The most powerful women in history didn’t rise by pushing others down. Feminism in its truest form is about liberation for all - women, men, everyone. It’s about rewriting the rules so no one has to live in fear, shame, or silence.

Using platforms like OnlyFans to reclaim ownership over one’s body is a complex topic, and I’m not here to shame any woman who’s on it. But when the attitude shifts from autonomy to exploitation, something dark creeps in. When we celebrate the emotional manipulation of men as a kind of justified payback, we’re not creating a healthier society - we’re fuelling the same division and pain that movements like #MeToo tried to heal.

The Real Goal: Wholeness, Not Power Over

What the world needs is connection, not conquest. Healing, not humiliation. Justice, not revenge.

Let’s celebrate women’s autonomy. Let’s keep calling out genuine abuse and inequality. But let’s not lose ourselves in the process. If the only way to feel powerful is to make someone else feel weak, we haven’t really grown - we’ve just inherited the worst habits of those who came before us.

The future shouldn’t belong to one group. It should belong to those who rise without stepping on others.

That’s real empowerment. That’s real change.